I had my first baby. She was absolutely breathtaking and the sleepless nights somehow provided a blissful haze that kept me a slaphappy hermit. But then, I started reentering the world through public settings in person and social media scrolling at home.  A sense of worry and anxiety began growing in my mind. It quickly reached it’s peak and plateaued at that dreaded place.

Insecurity.

Through the noise of the world, I was lead to believe that I had no idea what I was doing. That this precious babe of mine needed to be constantly fed in these formative years. Though diet was part of it, the feeding was so much more than just food. It was phrases that needed to be memorized and spoken. A specific number of words and books needed to be read per day. It was textiles needed to be exposed to. It was colours and shapes to be introduced. It was sleep schedules and consistency. It was pressure points and bedtime routines. It was classes, courses, and manuals that seemed to pile up in my parenthood curriculum that were all a mandatory read. And they all contradicted each other in a fear mongering way.

“If you do it this way your child will suffer from anxiety and end up in prison.”

“If you do it that way you give away all your power and your child will never trust you.”

I felt bullied and confused. I felt that I was never going to be the parent this child needed. That according to the world, me loving them wasn’t enough. That I needed their help, so I could do it their way.

It didn’t take long before I soon realized what was really going on; I was listening to the world instead of my own heart. The heart of a mother. This child’s mother.

This generation of parents has it hard. Sure, we have such amazing medical advances, indoor plumbing, and a most wonderful variety of baby products that aid in almost every infant discomfort possible. But ours is such a different battle. It is the battle of too much information. With the age of the Internet, strong opinions are always going to be at our fingertips and strangers lips. But it cannot take away our parental power because the knowledge found within the walls of our own families will always outrank the world.

So now when loving doesn’t seem to be enough, I know it’s time to shut out the worldly noise. Because loving them? Loving was always enough.

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