Are you setting the bar too high, too low or just secretly dreading the day we are meant to be celebrated? We’ve got some thoughts on how to make your Mother’s Day happier.

So it’s about to be Mother’s day. For some moms, the day is mediocre at best. We spend the lead up to the day shopping for our mothers and mother in laws, and hoping for the best, but preparing for the worst.

It’s one of those days where some moms take to social media to celebrate how fabulous their lives are, how amazing their kids are and how wonderful their gifts are. Others of us spend the day as if it is any other while avoiding the glare of social media gloat.

Which camp are you in? While my husband has never messed up Mother’s Day, he has fallen extremely short on another occasion. It was my birthday, which just happens to follow about two weeks after Christmas. Growing up, my birthday always felt like an afterthought, so I am pretty sensitive about it as an adult. One year, after a family trip to Florida which fell right before my big day, I casually mentioned to my husband that I didn’t want anything for my birthday and so when the big day came, that is exactly what I got.

I was livid.

Yet, in reality, it was actually my fault. I have this great friend who is a firm believer that you cannot get angry at your spouse if they are not aware of your expectations.

In other words, you need to tell your partner what you want. For example, I have not only told my husband exactly what I want for Mother’s day, I have also given him directions to the store.

While in reality, what I want most this Sunday is the handmade creations my kiddos are making for me in school, but because I am taking charge of this holiday, I thought I would really just go for it this year.

In addition to my request from my husband, I also made plans for him to take the kids to visit his mother for the afternoon while I took an art class with a friend. Not only does this mean that I will get a few hours away to enjoy some adult time, I also don’t need to spend my special day visiting with my mother-in-law.

Score.

It’s not only mothers with partners who can advocate for themselves on Mother’s Day. Another friend of mine ordered herself Miss Fresh dinner delivery to give herself a week off from cooking. It’s a way to give herself a much needed break, partner or not. You can celebrate yourself without spending any money by reaching out to family or friends to get some much needed time away, or even just give yourself permission to spend the day in your jammies, feeding the kids cold cereal and relaxing.

So ladies, there is still time to ensure that you get to spend Sunday your way. Make sure your partner knows what you want (or get it for yourself) even if all you want is a few hours alone, make it happen. That way we can all have a happy Mother’s Day.