I was at my favourite Chinese restaurant staring at a plate of delicious food I’d been craving for weeks. My husband surprised me after our long day jobs away from each other in stating we were going out for supper. This excited me so much that I had butterflies all the drive there. I had just started my third trimester. I was sitting across from the man I loved, carrying the baby we’d dreamed, discussing our bright future, about to eat the food I so savoured.
And here I was suddenly fighting to keep from bawling in the depths of utter sorrow, hopelessness, and despair.
It only lasted a couple minutes but seemed like a forever of sadness and confusion. My husband was very worried as he saw my countenance suddenly shift. He kept asking what was wrong and got no response from me. He was pretty baffled at what just happened, but not as much as I was.
What. Was. That.
It was depression. There’s no way I could deny that feeling. But to have it appear that suddenly without any unfortunate mishap prior, not to mention having it lift off me just as fast as it came, had me beyond confounded.
There is so much information on Post-Partum Depression, but I’d never heard of depression happening during pregnancy. I spoke to my doctor about the occurrence, who then reassured me that it was hormonal caused by pregnancy. She told me to keep her in the loop if it became more of a problem and let me know that there were options to explore in remedying it.
I started referring to them as my “depression seizures,” as they came without warning and went just the same
These occurrences only happened a handful of times, and I was thankful for that. Jestfully, I started referring to them as my “depression seizures,” as they came without warning and went just the same. I would just have to sit and dwell in the sadness, repeating the hopeful truth that it would soon lift. I’d pull over on highways. I’d shut my office door. I’d let the tears come. Then, like magic, a few minutes would pass and it would be gone.
Maybe you are like me and didn’t realize you could get depression in pregnancy. There are two things I’d strongly recommend if you feel like you are suffering with this condition.
#1 Talk about it with a trusted loved one.
#2 Talk to your health care professional. You can always get a second or even third opinion if you feel you need it.
It’s important to have the support and care you and your child deserve.
You’re not in this alone.
*Opinions expressed are those of the author, and not necessarily those of Parent Life Network or their partners.