When pregnant with my second, we chose to keep the baby’s sex a secret. I used to be a control freak, so not knowing my child’s sex was very trying for me. People would assume I wanted a little girl because I already had a boy—truthfully, the health of the babe is all that matters. I was beyond words and love when they handed me my second little dude. Deep down, it was a relief that we had a second boy. I am now closed for business; there will be no more baby-making for this gal.
When people see the two boys, family, friends, and strangers alike all tend to say the following things to me:
“Are you going to try for a girl?” No, dammit! I am not. I’m not having anymore children, but if I were, it wouldn’t be because I wanted a little girl. Gender is irrelevant. I love my kids because they are my kids. I don’t feel the need to continue trying to have babies because I wasn’t satisfied with the fact that they came out with a penis. Boys seem to get such a bad rep for no good reason.
“He’s such a boy.” I constantly hear this sentence and sometimes even catch myself saying it. I cringe a little each time. Society has created stereotypes. When my boys do something to fall into these stereotypes, it often gets pointed out. My eldest is wild and mischievous, but in such a fun way. His wildness is often blamed on the fact that he is a boy. Why can’t kids just be wild? Why does it have to be a boy thing?
“You have two boys? Wow. Good luck!” Someone actually said this to me. I’m not sure if they just assumed my kids would be defiant, hellish gremlins because they were boys. That is what I took from it. The truth is I have two very happy, good-natured children. They have their days, but so do I. Being boys doesn’t make them bad.
“You are going to have your hands full.” Don’t all parents have their hands full? Whether it’s with one child or five—boy or girl—all parents are doing a juggling act of sorts. Don’t hate on my boys. My hands would be just as full if I’d had two girls.
“Their teenage years are going to be your hell.” This statement is the gist of an entire conversation I had with somebody. It might be true, but not because they’re boys. Teenage years are volatile for boys and girls alike. Hopefully, I will have done my job at instilling good morals and teaching them right from wrong. So don’t you dare judge my infant and toddler’s future selves just because of their sex.
Making preconceived notions about who my children are and who they will be drives me mad. Yes, I have two boys. I have a child that loves the colour pink, loves arts and crafts, and plays with dolls. A child that is sweet and sensitive. He is also wild and brave. He loves trucks, dirt, and running around. Right now, green is his favourite colour. Boy or girl, these traits are normal for that of a three year old child.
Stop judging kids based on their sex.
Are your kids all boys or all girls? What comments do you get from your family and from strangers? Let us know in the comments below!
*Opinions expressed are those of the author, and not necessarily those of Parent Life Network or their partners.