Burning the Super Mom Cape

I was called a ‘Super Mom’ today. Actually, It’s happened three times this week.

Are you cringing? Me too.

It isn’t that I want people to think I’m a bad mom – of course I don’t.

And it isn’t that I think I’m a bad mom – I don’t.

And I do appreciate that you think I’m doing the whole mom thing well.

But I am not a ‘Super Mom’.

‘Super Mom’ comes with all sorts of unrealistic expectations.

Things I couldn’t and don’t strive to be, or do. At least – anymore.

Years ago, when I was suffering from Postpartum Anxiety, I would have been very pleased if you’d called me ‘Super Mom’… In fact, I made myself sick, (quite literally) trying to win the title. I wanted to -do it, make it, wear it, clean it, have it – just ‘so’.

For me, at that time, it was more than just trying to portray an unrealistic image …it was living in a very unhealthy mind. I obsessively worried about what others thought.

I know this isn’t uncommon. I’ve seen it with a lot of other moms. And I know that you can totally relate.

For me, at that time, it was more than just trying to portray an unrealistic image …it was living in a very unhealthy mind. I obsessively worried about what others thought. At my ‘sickest’ – I genuinely believed that someone would come and take my kids away if I didn’t keep up the act.

I started having panic attacks that lead to hospital trips and appointments with therapists (that really didn’t resolve much of anything) Why? Because when you’re obsessively thinking someone will take away your kids, you don’t actually want to tell anyone that. You know, in case they think you’re bat-shit crazy – and want to take away the kids. Vicious cycle. To make things much much worse, I started drinking heavily.

So fast forward – through years of anxiety and depression and self-medication…

And here I am.

Sober, for almost three years. Carefully and happily taking an anti-anxiety/anti-depression medication and more importantly, talking openly about it.

And I’ve taken off the ‘Super Mom’ cape. It was fucking heavy.

Then I stomped on it and set fire to the bitch.

And here’s what I know now, and what I hope you know too…

Everyone has something they’re really good at. Just because I’m Super-Crafty (I’ll happily don that cape) does not mean I’m in the running for ‘Mother of the Year’ … As a matter of fact, since I’m being honest, it sometimes even makes me a bit of a crappy mom. When I was happily mod-podging paper to rocks, my toddler got a potty seat stuck to her head. When I was out building a mud kitchen, the baby ate a meal sized portion of dirt. And we may have played in colourful sand on a pretty DIY sensorial table, but Lord knows I’m not spending any of my free time cleaning the house.

Whatever you do, whatever your ‘thing’ is…just keeping the kids alive and happy – is deserving of a medal.

Maybe you’re good at baking, or you keep a spotless house. Maybe you make volunteering in the classroom a priority or you always help out at soccer practice. Maybe you’ve never missed a hockey game. Maybe you have a business or a career AND keep a household going…

Whatever you do, whatever your ‘thing’ is…just keeping the kids alive and happy – is deserving of a medal.

For me, I am burning that ‘Super Mom’ cape and suggest you do the same.

Brandon

Brandon

Mother of many. Early Childhood Educator. Lover of colourful words. Anti Super-Mom. Visit me at rightbrainedmom – Creative Learning & Play rightbrainedmom.com