It had been two days since her birth. We were on route home from the hospital with our first and only sweet baby girl. I sat in the back with her as my husband drove, to ensure she was still breathing; a perfectly normal parenting fear. I stared at her tininess in this gigantic car seat she was strapped into.
Then, it happened. My heart burst. It burst with gratitude in the sudden realization that she was ours. We were taking her home. I had a daughter. The impact of deep love I had for this wee one was as overwhelming as it was incredible. It was as if my whole being stood still and was, perhaps for the first time in memory, fully present in this moment I had before me. Tears clouded my eyes, yet I could see everything.
As years marched on and we were blessed with another baby, a boy, I continued to have these heart-bursting moments. They happened sporadically and in seemingly ordinary happenings of their baby and toddlerhood. Yet they were still just as astonishing as the first time. I’d see these in my children in a most true and tender place within my soul. I would be fully there.
I needed to allow my heart to burst more often. I needed these moments. To see these children for everything that they were and how deeply they meant to me.
A few weeks back I decided that these occurrences needed to be allowed to happen more. I needed to allow my heart to burst more often. I needed these moments. To see these children for everything that they were and how deeply they meant to me.
I caught myself in the everyday simple adventures of laundry, cooking, de-cluttering, grocery shopping, etc. and stopped to behold my children. I looked across from the couch to watch him walk his way toward me. I looked down at his sweet face as we rocked in the chair at 3 a.m. I looked up from my screen and saw her singing sweetly to herself while drawing a picture, for me. I looked. And I saw them. My children. Those dreams I had that have literally come true. And I looked at the love of my life, holding them proudly in his arms as they sported the happiest squeals they could ever produce.
As it turns out, taking the time to allow my heart to burst was the best rejuvenation I could have received. There is no bottom to this love’s depth.
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