I have little kids and I have a lot of sex. To me, a happy marriage and a happy sex life go hand in hand. Keep in mind, I had three kids in less than three years, but still managed to keep my marriage spicy. Interested in taking your sex life off the back burner and putting some sizzle back into your partnership? Let’s get it on…
Start working out.
No, I am not saying only ‘skinny’ people can have lots of sex. What I am saying is: working out gives you body confidence. Body confidence will allow you to focus on what you are doing rather than how you look doing it. I always find when I am working out I am more ‘amorous’ than when I am not. It’s not just me either, according to a study conducted by the US National Library of Medicine there is a link between moderate exercise and increased sexual arousal in women.
Make sure you are having an orgasm.
Sex has many benefits: feeling close to your partner, stress relief, but one of those should be an orgasm! If you’re not having them, speak up and don’t be afraid to give your partner a hand!
Toss the TV.
My husband and I have never had a TV in the bedroom because our room is for two things only: sleep and sex. We aren’t the only ones who have benefited from this, according to a study by Italian Sexologist Serenella Salomoni couples who opt to not have a TV in the bedroom have sex twice as much.
Toss the cable while you are at it.
We are a Netflix only household and have been for a few years now. Not only does this allow you (and your kids) to avoid exposure to commercial advertising but it also allows you to choose your own schedule for sex. There is no TV shows that we ‘have to’ watch on any given night so we can make sex a priority at 8 pm at night, rather than watching a ‘must see TV’ line up until we are too tired to get busy.
Keep early bedtimes.
My kids get up at the crack of dawn no matter what time they go to bed so in our house bedtimes are early. Couple time is needed every night and lights out by 8 p.m. makes that happen.
We have three tiny people who live in our house and take up a lot of our focus and attention, so my husband and I spend a lot of time sneaking in affection whenever we can. It takes me back to the days I would sneak around with my boyfriends while living with my parents. Whether it is an impromptu make out session in the kitchen, a naptime ‘nooner’ or a sexy look across the room. We look for opportunities to show our mutual affection. This affection can benefit your children as well. According to a study on modern fatherhood published by NatCen Social Research in the UK, parents who regularly kiss and interact are less likely to yell at their kids.
Not all sexy nights involve sex.
My husband does a physical job and I stay home with the kids all day. We are often exhausted by the end of the week, so we came up with what we call ‘massage nights’. About once a week, as soon as our kids are in bed candles are lit and a full body massage is given with no need to reciprocate. Massages generally last an hour or more and we switch off nights. It keeps us connected and is something that we both really look forward to. Not only do the massages help us feel better, a study by Cedars Sinai in 2010 has shown a link between massage and an increase to the body’s ability to fight off disease.
For us it’s a weekly event to make us feel like a couple again. Being out and able to actually hold hands, catch up on our week and enjoy a little PDA is a great way to reconnect and a wonderful preamble to some serious nooky.
Wanna spice it up? How about some seriously dirty text messages to start the day? Nothing makes sex hotter than thinking about what your partner is going to do to you the moment the kids go to sleep.
Be open with trying new things.
Whether it’s sex outdoors or a new position, the best part of married sex is having a partner you can trust and be vulnerable with. Take advantage.
*Opinions expressed are those of the author, and not necessarily those of Parent Life Network or their partners.